P E N C I L       H U M O R
Updated April 2001

Send your pencil jokes or other related humor to: doug@pencilpages.com

See also: Pencil Trivia -- Pencil FAQ

Another 'Top Ten' list (link contributed by Fred von Preissig)

Contributed by: Jon A. Pudlitzke, creator of Toolbox Toons

Here is a story told by some of the old-timers at the McDonnel-Douglas Aircrafft Company (now Boeing):
After the (very hostile) merger between McDonnel and Douglas the two facilities had their pencils printed both left-handed and right-handed. At the Douglas Aircraft facility in Long Beach, CA, the printing read 'McDonnell Douglas Aircraft Company' from point end to eraser end, while at the McDonnell Aircraft factory in St. Louis, MO, the printing read 'McDonnell Douglas Aircraft Company' from eraser end to point end. Each facility then sharpened off the name of the other facility! Petty for sure, but that summed up the relationship between the two until the Boeing buy-out! (thanks to Paul Setaro)
BNN News Report - Lawsuit against pencil makers....
Y2K Backup System Instructions
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why isn't it #1?
Several people have sent me this one, so I guess it's time I include it:

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? ..he worked his problem out with a pencil..."

I didn't know quite where to put this item - but I'm glad the entire world can learn where this particular pencil sharpener is!
Read the 'broken pencil' incident from the OJ Simpson trial, courtesy of Patrick Carey, carey@gcrca.biostat.wisc.edu.
kallred@nmsu.edu writes:

"Did you hear the joke about the pencil?"
"It's pointless."

Kirk Fort, kirkfort@teleplex.net, blames this one on his sister:

"Why was the pencil lumbering?"
"It's feet were full of lead."

This was sent by Stephen A., who said it was not good enough for his home page:

A dad goes to school to talk to the teacher because the bigger kids keep stealing his son's pencil. "It's happened three times this week," he complains, "it has to stop!"
"Well, I'm sorry to hear it."
"Yeah, well, its not the pencils I mind, of course - I can get them easily enough from the office - its the *principle*!"

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